Selfish Songs

I didn’t know.
I couldn’t know. Could I?
So much assumed. Assigned. Misaligned.
Words intended to hold did push instead and thrust
Until, with fearful cry, did angel’s light take flight.

I should have known.
I must have known. Did I?
Verses that point to painful places were cast away.
Invisible. Ignored. To miss the warning refrains
With face held defiantly, ignorantly forward so I would not hear.

I know.
I don’t want to know. Do I?
The wrench of painful realization is reflected back
In hollow, haunted eyes reeling from the weight of effect.
My anguished cries of fury follow that path of angel’s flight.

I’ll always know.
I can’t unknow. Forgive me.
The shackles of memory’s burden clamp cold and hard
Around a throat where poison spewed forth in selfish song
Until, with bitter bile rising, did knowing silence the voice to sing no more.


originally written and published by me on August 8th, 2017, never thinking I’d re-post

12 comments

  1. Jesus, this wrecked me.
    I’ve never read something that illustrates so beautifully, so painfully, that moment when we realize what we did or said extinguished a piece of someone’s soul….no matter how seemingly small, we cast a shadow on their very essence that could take a lifetime to dispell. “The wrench of painful realization is reflected back In hollow, haunted eyes reeling from the weight of effect.”
    Your mastery of words and their effect is truly unbelievable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hate to say thank you to an expression of this moment and it’s horror. You obviously connected with the meaning so well. I can’t say it is worse, but for an empath/healer to have killed a part of someone’s soul is something I will never get over.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s