Philosophy Schmilosophy

So trying to think philosophically about a few things…I can’t make it happen. The math just doesn’t add up.

I always come back to this:  I don’t believe in ‘isms’. F. Bueller

Written by Eric Idle

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya
‘Bout the raising of the wrist.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
“I drink, therefore I am”
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he’s pissed!


  1. Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night, Holmes nudges Watson awake, and says, “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
    “I see millions of stars, my dear Holmes.”

    “And what do you infer from these stars?”
    “Well, a number of things,” he says, lighting his pipe:

    Astronomically, I observe that there are millions of galaxies and billions of stars and planets.
    Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
    Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
    Meteorologically, I expect that the weather will be fine and clear.
    Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and man, his creation, small and insignificant.

    What about you, Holmes?”

    “Watson, you fool. Someone has stolen our tent!”

    Liked by 2 people

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