Please allow me to wallow and rant for a moment. I promise I won’t linger in this cesspool of bleakness for many, if any, other posts. This one might also meander a bit, but it is MY blog.
“Anger is an energy” j. lydon
Anger is not an emotion. It is the energy created in response to certain emotions.
I am angry. I am tired. Tired of the yelling. Tired of the tense expressions. Tired of the lying. Tired of the ignorance and unwillingness to listen. I am angry at the idiocy of a human race that ushered in this environment without even TRYING to foresee the results and outcomes of those choices. Unfortunately, we are brow-beaten daily with one or more of these things. When did the following words become four letter ones?
compassion; civility; respect; reflection
When did these words become signs of weaknesses. I remember my father fondly. He was a great man, and not just by my estimation. He was a high school teacher. I will never forget the service after he died, as it was like a scene from a movie. The sheer number of former peers and students that came to pay their respects was mind boggling. My father was those four words above, and he was NOT weak. He was gentle. He was not an angry man. He was respectful. I often find myself wondering what he would be thinking and saying if he were alive today. Today’s world is not one that would give him pride. My father did not suffer fools.
I am not a young man myself. I wonder, however, how much of this is our fault. You know, the baby-booming-genX-cuspers? Did we do anything to try and prevent this? We didn’t grow up angry. Were we, however, so engrossed in our own game of hedonistic hopscotch that we allowed the world to spiral without us until those that came after us framed the world to what it is today? Did we help to create a world of haves and have-nots? (That’s really what seems to be at the core of most any conflict today.)
I remember having a conversation with my dad after another of his friends had passed. We talked a little about death. I remember him saying the longer you stay, the less you feel like you belong. Is this just natures way of preparing us to face our own mortality? Also, I don’t have children of my own unless you count our furry ones. I realized a few years back how that warps one’s perception of lineal time as it relates to this earth and our impact on it. I think in terms of what came before. I do not see things through the eyes of children. I do not look ahead and worry what world will be left to them, as I have no them. Holidays for us are to share with siblings and my mom. For those in my family with children, it is not the same. I am not saying this is bad…it’s just the way it is. Does that make those of us without children selfish? I don’t think so. There are a lot of people that selfishly had children and shouldn’t.
And most of the time it’s these people that are yelling with faces taught and fingers pointing. They lack respect for the ideas of others and feel no remorse when they aren’t civil as those are the signs of weakness. For you that remember The Breakfast Club movie and Emilio Estevez’s character Andrew, unlike me, he did not want to end up like his “old man.”
Andrew admits, “He’s like this mindless machine I can’t even relate to anymore.” He angrily imitates his father: “Andrew! You’ve got to be number one! I won’t tolerate losers in this family!” Sometimes Andrew just wishes his father would “forget all about me.”
It seems that’s the current state of the world, and sometimes I wish the world would do the same.